Summer Posting

During the summer, we will not be having our moms' meetings.  But we can still keep in touch on our blog....Feel free to post your questions or ideas and share your answers and comments!

"Strengthening Your Marriage while Parenting a Child with Special Needs"

I'm posting some notes from a moms' meeting a while ago when Sara Roth, a family and marriage therapist spoke to us.  She said that when you focus on your marriage, it makes you a better parent.
Take time daily or at least weekly to refocus on your goals in life.  What are the steps to reach that goal?  Look at things that worked and see what you did right.  Think about where your energies were focused today/this week...is that in sink with your goals?

When we focus on our marriage we gain because (among other things), it is a reciprocal relationship, cause and effect relationship.

The Five Languages of Love by Gary Chapman is a book that talks about various ways of displaying love and affection:
1.  Acts of service (ex. doing the dishes)
2.  Gifts of time
3.  Gifts
4.  Physical Affection
5.  Verbal affection
You can figure out which language you speak by seeing what you are missing.  If I had to choose one, which would it be?

Communication starts with:
1. Sharing of yourself
2.  Recipient is listening.  Reflective listening
Sit down and face each other to talk about something important.  (Don't have an important conversation while you are doing dishes or reading a book.)

Tell your spouse specifically what you need.  Doing so does not take away the need.  (Some women feel that if they need to say it, then they don't need it anymore.  This is not true.  Our spouses are not mind readers and we need to tell them what we need.)

Our job is to improve ourselves.  Your spouse and your children are uniquely suited to you and your personality.  Garden of Emunah by Rabbi Shalom Arush discusses the concecpt that everything that happens to you is from G-d...it's not your spouse's fault.  It is meant to happen to you.  Then you can take away the blame and work through a problem. 

Sara also shared handouts about "fair fighting" and conflict resolution.  You can let me know if you want a copy.

Stress Management

At our Moms Meeting this week, Heidi Solomon addressed us on the topic of Stress Management.  Here are some notes from the session along with her handout below.

For handling stress:


1) My first step is to decide if this is a problem with a solution ... or a problem without a solution
A. If this is a problem with a solution -- then I mentally relieve myself of stress by knowing that in time -- we will reach the solution

B. Many of us face very challenging problems (be they medical issues, financial struggles, emotional challenges) ... and these problems have no established solution -- I try to reduce my stress in these situations by being very mindful of the saying from Pirket Avot "We are responsible for our input -- but we are not responsible for the outcome" This way I can do my best on the input -- and try to mentally relieve myself of the stress of the outcome.

2) Recognize the minimum required to sustain, and rejuvenate --- it may be getting a hot shower once a day. We each know what is realistic time wise ... and financially ... do what is realistic


3) Two ways to relax in just a minute
A. Nasal breathing -- in one nostril and out the other -- three times on each side -- this brings extra oxygen to the brain and can bring relaxation to the body in less than a minute
B. Think of a calm picture -- Think about a scene that makes you feel calm (beach, rainbow, etc) Take twenty seconds to concentrate on that scene -- the visual, auditory, olefactory, etc elements of the scene -- it is a just a little mental vacation

You can only do so much so think about what your priorities are and take care of those things.

Art Therapy

At our last moms' meeting, we met with Wendy Maayan, our Sunday Circle Art Therapist.  Wendy works for JFSA and told us about how she uses art therapy.  

Art is therapeutic.  It puts you in a different place.  Art therapy works well for people who cannot verbalize a particular emothion or articulate how they are feeling, including many children with special needs.  Art has a way of removing the mask we sometimes wear.

Wendy said that at Sunday Circle her art goals are that the children should have fun, take pride in their work, and develop social skills as they work with their friends.  One way to achieve these goals is by asking children to "Point to your favorite part of your picture."  Then cut out that part, paste it on a new paper, and design a new picture stemming from the original.

You can also extend an activity or expand on a piece.  For example, after naming a color in the art, you could ask, "What else in the room is green?"  You could also look for darker and lighter shades of a color.

After explaining a bit about art therapy, Wendy engaged us in a hands-on activity where we were able to express ourselves through art. 

Wendy also shared a handout describing art therapy and with some resources for art therapy which I will post in the next few days.

We all enjoyed and learned a lot from this meeting!

Moms' Cooking Program

I'm a little behind, but below are pictures, recipes, and other links from our Moms Cooking Program in January. Everyone enjoyed it and got to bring home at least 4 suppers to put in their freezer. Special thanks to Hindy for hosting and helping organize.

Freezing Tips

 

http://busycooks.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://www.recipesource.com/misc/freezer/indexall.html

http://busycooks.about.com/od/makeaheadrecipes/a/cookOAMC.htm



http://www.ellenskitchen.com/bigpots/oamc/vegweek.html



http://www.once-a-month-cookingworld.com/

Moms' Meeting with Mia Buchwald Gelles

Mia Buchwald Gelles from the Milestones Autism Organization joined our Tuesday Moms Meeting. She shared curriculum information for children with autism, as well as availing us of some of the many resources provided by her organization, including support groups, workshops, training, education, referrals, and online resources among other things. Our mothers learned a lot from her presentation. Even if you missed it, you can find valuable information by visiting their website at http://www.milestones.org/.

Mia also recommended a book by Bridgette Taylor called Let Me Hear Your Voice.

We thank Mia for joining us and hope you will find this info useful.

Please join us...